This will probably be the most emotional and honest piece of writing that I put on this site. I want to sit down and type inspirational quotes and messages again and again until I end up sounding like the end of a Nike® commercial “Just do it!” I think, however, that this will be more meaningful if I just briefly tell my own experience, as honestly as I can…
I came out with a letter to my parents. I came out because I was so tired of living a double life, saying one thing to my family and friends, and revealing myself only to a few really close pals. I came out because I wanted to be honest with those that I cared about. I realized that I expected people not to lie to me, and for my friends not to keep things from me, when all the while I was doing just that. Like I said, I wrote a 5 page letter to my folks, and I did this because this was a big deal to me and I wanted everything to flow, to be articulated exactly how I wanted it to be. I wanted to lay everything on the table, to explain things fully… and then be there to answer any questions (which there were). I was terrified. I remember my hands actually shaking before I gave them that letter. I was throwing a brick right through the glass image that they had of me; but it was something I had to do to be happy, even though I had no idea how they would take it. And hey, “a few seconds on glass are better than a million seconds on eggshells.” Ya, I just made that up. lol
All in all, it was awkward for a few weeks after. The biggest challenge was showing them that (1) I was still the same person and I hadn’t changed from who they had raised (2) that I had thought long and hard about telling them; it wasn’t a spur of the moment thing, and (3) that I wrote the letter not to upset them, but to be honest with them and build on our relationship. After that, I took a deep breath and sent out a mass text to 20 of my closest friends confessing my hidden sexual orientation… Hey, I couldn’t go through the “letter” process with all of them.
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Here are some excerpts from my own letter to the parents (real and unedited):
“Before you begin to look at this letter, please be sure that you have time to read it whole. I really mean for you to read it in its entirety and to understand the complete message, or messages, that pour out through the words. I am beginning this letter with no idea what it will say. It is undoubtedly the most difficult jumble of words that I have ever and probably will ever piece together and deliver. Nevertheless, I think it’s been too long for subtlety and testing the waters. I want to tell you the truth, as it is in my mind, so that you can have a clear understanding about how I think and what I feel. I apologize ahead of time if some parts make you uncomfortable, but I honestly beg you to read every word and truly respect how difficult this was for me to write, and to put comparable effort into reading and understanding my message…”
“Over the past many months, I have sensed a growing gap between what I feel and what I say, between what I say and what I do, and between what I do and what I wish I could do. I feel like the person I have become is something I never wanted to be, a hypocrite. I live in fear of isolation, and in doing so isolate myself from the family more and more. I am afraid of what to say, for fear of an awkward moment or questioning glare. I have for so long been petrified of losing you and being thrown to the shackles of societal judgment and hatred, when all along I should have been partnering with you and embracing the love that our family has to help me through this stage of self-acceptance. We are blood, and nothing can change that…”
“I refuse to be 40 years old with a wife and kids, to then decide that the charade I fought so long to maintain has crumbled and that I do not love my wife enough in a physical sense to stay with her. I am now presenting myself openly and honestly to the ones I love, preparing myself to go out and explore who I am and what makes me happy. Here goes nothing: everyone, I’m bi. There they are, the words that even now send chills up my spine. Those two words have haunted me for years, and now that I think about it, I wonder why it has taken this long.
After saying those words, what has changed? Honestly, what was I so afraid of? Have my dreams changed? How about my talents and abilities? No, and no. Nothing has changed, aside from the new-found freedom and honesty that I feel from the resignation of a burden that has weighed heavy on my shoulders all this time. I do not feel any different, only the relief and tranquility found from breaking down that self-created wall of insecurity and questioning. If anything, the only thing that HAS changed is the suffocation of a fire that has long burned me with flames of fear and confusion. This fire has held me back several times in my life, but not any longer. Only I am to blame for the leash that I placed around my own neck, but no longer will the constraints of a fragile mind keep me from being who I am…”
“I am presenting myself to you in hopes that we can have an open and honest relationship. I am confident in my decision now, and have passed through the personal struggles that have stopped me from writing this letter in the past. Likewise, I will love and support you through this, and am here for any questions or concerns that you have. I hope you embrace this as an opportunity to get to know the side of me that I felt I needed to hide, and I look forward to establishing once again a close relationship and including you fully in my life…”
“I love you and never again want some artificially created and ignorance-induced negative societal idea to prevent me from including you in the life of the man I am today, and the man I will become in time.”
Your son,
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So there you have it, pieces from the letter that I actually gave my parents to “come out” over a year ago. The reaction I got? Well, both of my parents were experiencing a combination of confusion, fear, love, and awkwardness right before my eyes. My mother was fearful for my safety and my father was more analytical than anything. He asked a lot of questions like, “Are you sure about this?” and, “How did this develop…did something happen to trigger this?” There were many questions now that I think about it. I DO have to give my parents credit though; they did take it a lot better than I had imagined when writing the letter. And although things were not perfect right away, and not for a few months after that…the conversation had begun, and we were on our way to a more open and honest relationship. And now we’re closer than ever. It easier to be close to someone when you don’t have to “act,” fyi.
The main thing that I realized was that “coming out” was not only a process for me, but for my parents as well. My mother described it very well. She said, “I had to stop and mourn the dreams that I had for you when you were growing up…and then I had to create new ones.” Oh, and my friends? Well all but one of them either didn’t care enough to say anything, or thought it was actually cool. And the one that walked away from me has since returned and apologized. I knew he would…
Hey Mike. Awesome letter. I would love it if you would email me sometime…I know you get a lot of requests but if you had time I would love to get a dialog going with you about my own experiences. I am also bi and am dating a girl right now but its confusing…because I still want men…is that right? Should I feel bad about that? I am honest with her and she knows about everything and I tell her me wanting guys doesn’t mean I don’t love her it’s just what I am attracted to…but you know theres a lot more to say so I would love to engage more with you about it if you can find the time…thanks Mike I really appreciate you and all you are doing, you are very inspiring…and hot too! lol
Mike,
First of all I would like to say you are a inspiration to me. I am a very devout Christian and am struggling with my sexuality. I know that I am Bi, but I don’t know how to come out. When I was about to come out, I was raped my a random guy in the city. I felt that this was God punishing me and telling me that I was a monster. After, watching you on your show I’m starting to realize that I was just a victim of circumstance and awful timing. My parents are not against homosexuality(like the will talk to them), but they feel it is immoral and sinful. I wanted to know if you had any advice about what I could do. I am tired of living a lie, but I am afraid of what will happen to my relationship with my family and friends(my best friend is a pastor’s son). If you give me any help I would really appreciate it.
i know you’re busy but i’d really love it if you could email me, and give me some advice. > meghanbutler2000@yahoo.com
you’re such an inspiration! thankyou so much!
Hey bro I am not mike but we are all in the same place. If you want to talk my email is lachneyjames@hotmail.com. I would be more than happy to talk to you.
Mike,
i just want to say that through the Real World DC you have truely inspired and confused me. but in a good way. I’m 17 years old and struggling with the whole bi/gay issue myself right now. I like girls but i have also found over the years that i like guys too. You have inspired me to be honest with myself and accepts this as a part of who i am. Now that i have accepted this the difficult part is having everyone else accept this too. Now i dont know if im completely ready to go “come out” but i have told a few of my closest friends. I havent told more people yet because high school kids can be pretty brutal, and i dont know how my parents and family will take this news. So now im on like this roller coaster ride of confusion.Any advice?
i no how you feel i will tell you im 16 and and im kinda going throu the same thing its realy hard going throu this becasue you dont know how people are gonna react and you dont want to be sterotyped i know how it feels when someone trys to sterotype you its so not fun im a jock and people automatily think that i only want all the grils or i have other people do my class work and stuff like that and its not fair to anyone and im gonna also guess that you dont know how your parents are gonna react to you being bi/gay.im still stuggling to come out but before you come out you need to know wheather you are gay or bi becasue you dont want to tell them one thing and it may be the other thing if you n=know what i mean so i hoped this helped good luck
Hey Rodney,
Don’t worry about it. I’m 18 and haven’t told anyone because it really isn’t a big deal. You have your whole life ahead of you to deal with that stuff. For now focus on finishing high school, going to college, and what you want to do in life. Have fun. Don’t stress over this. It took me awhile to chill out about it and now I’m ready to see what life brings me. I suggest you do the same. It is so much easier. And to go off what Chris is saying, you will eventually find out who you are more attracted to in life. Wether it be both chicks and guys or just guys. I always thought I liked both but I eventually figured out that society was telling me I liked chicks no matter what. I hope this helps you. Take care
Hey mike, that was awesome! I have been wanting to tell you this forever. You will never know how much of an influence you have made in my life. It took someone younger than me to finally come out to all my friends and family. Our situations were alike in so many ways. Both was brought up in a conservative upbringing and i was the boy next door, jock type, and living a “double” life was hard. When i saw your story, i watched every week of the Real World, and every episode i started to see what i need to do. Watching you grow, helped me build courage too..
Below is excerpts from my facebook page and a note i wrote about my coming out as a Bisexual male. There is a personal thank you, directly to you. If you wish to read the entire note, i am on facebook, and a fan of your mikemanning’s page. Believe me, i am not trying to steal your thunder, but i want you to see what kind of difference you have made in my life. Thank you.
It’s taken me 24 years to know who i am and to be comfortable with who i am. I WILL NOT let anyone tell me n e different. I am a proud Bi-sexual male. I am a city boy with country morals and values. End of story. Take it or leave it. Being BI is 1 small fraction of who i am, it doesn’t define me completely. Know that i am the same exact person you have always known.
Through the last 7 months of my life i have been doing a lot of volunteer work for the HRC and NOH8 campaign. These groups have help me come to terms and to be comfortable in my own skin. I know i dont come off at the typical gay/bi guy that most perceive when they hear the world gay or bi. But if there is one thing i have always like to do in life, is to break steorotypes and norms. If you have any questions or concerns, i am not afraid to talk to you about any questions you have.
And Finally thank you MIKE MANNING. It was you that finally made me accept who i am and live the life that i should be living and not hiding who i am. Watching you on the Real World, i related so much to everything you were going through; from u family, your friends, Tanner, and all your insecurities. I enjoyed watching you grow in personal life and work for HRC and watching you through the season. AT the end of the season during the shot of you and your dad at the parade. My heart melted and i cried. I didn’t even know why at the time, and it was because i was proud and happy and finally free. THANK YOU. You may never know how much you changed my life. Thank you.
Like i said, it has taken me 24 years to figure out who i am, to be comfortable in my own skin, and to not be ashamed of who i am. I am tired of the secrets….the lies…the struggle. I’m tired of having the weight of the world on my shoulders, and even as i type this, i can’t help but get teary eyed. I am just happy and proud of who i am. I am overjoyed and elated, and at the end of the day, i can finally and truely say with an honest and open heart… I love myself. And i thank you all for helping me realize that.
Hey Mike,
First off, the website looks great. Second, this letter that you wrote to your parents is amazing. You’re such an inspiration to me. I am now volunteering for HRC in New York and working hard to make it known that DADT needs to be repealed. I’m 18 years old and I’m going into the United States Army this year. I have never had feelings for a guy and I have always been attracted to girls but I am also attracted to guys. I, of course, cannot come out to everyone because of the obvious reason that gays, lesbians, or bisexuals are not allowed to serve in the military. But even though I haven’t had feelings for another guy, am I actually bisexual? I know you don’t really believe in categorizing, such as gay or straight, but I don’t know what to do. I’m very confused. And part of me wants to explore and find out if I really am, but I don’t know how to tell if someone else is gay or bi…Any advice? If possible, Email me? Thanks a lot.
-John
Wow Mike! You’re very articulate in the way you wrote your ‘coming out’ letter to your parents. I can tell you put a lot of thought into writing it. Thank you for sharing, something so personal. I hope your letter can be an inspiration for closeted gays, bi-sexuals,lesbians, and transgenders out there, that can not find the words to express who they really are to their family and friends. I also hope your letter shine a light about the inner-struggle and ’shame’ we place on ourselves. The only shame is living a lie to please other people.
You give me lots of hope for my future. Thank you!!
hey mike! You are one of my biggest inspirations. I would literally watch The Real World DC just for you, so I could hear your thoughts on things and how you lived being “different” I guess you could call it. My thing is the whole telling my parents that I’m bisexual, almost all of my friends know, but I just can’t tell my parents, something just won’t allow me. Truth is, I’m just really scared. My dad, well, he is extremely homophobic
, that’s my worry. I’m afraid he will not accept me for who I am. My mom, I think I could tell her but I just don’t know. Any advice? Email me?
my dad is extremely homophobic too but i still told him and he accepted who i am it just took him some time to get used to it your still his son no matter who u love
Hey Mike,
I decided to write a letter to my mother in order to come out. I have thought about it before and now I think that’s what I’m going to do.. Thanks for sharing and to be an inspiration to me and I’m sure to a lot of gays,bi, christian or not.
Thanks again Mike
God bless u
Kev,18, from Canada
Hey Mike,
I really appreciate that you’ve taken all this time to write down something so personal of you. I too am bi, and I can really relate to your experencies. I live in Canada, in a little closeminded town. I’m also an immigrant from Peru, and as you see in Peru people are horrible to you for your sexual orientation. Gladly i dont live there anymore and I can express my true self in Canada. Sorry i blabbed on there for a little bit. Lol. But yeah.. You don’t even understand the amount of gratitude i have for you sharing ur experiences.
May God be always with you,
(Y)!
GG from Canada
Your a huge inspiration to so many people, and apparently and amazing writer. I’d love to be able to see the whole letter and even the apology letter you sent to Tanner, during Real World. I’m a Canadian teen who is just entering the gay scene, I will be attending my first pride this august, and because of you and a guy in my own town, I will have the self-esteem and inner pride to enjoy it fully. If your willing to send me a copy of either letter that would be amazing, kyle_landry26@hotmail.com email or facebook, I can promise you I would keep them to myself.
Thank you for everything.
Kyle
Hey Mike, I sent you a long email about my own troubles but yeah man, I felt the same way when I finally accepted that I was gay. I would hate to live a lie to someone, to a person I couldn’t truly love due to the fact that I would one day love someone of the same sex. Who knew three little words *g-a-y* would be such a HUGE deal?
WE are all in this together though. Thanks for breaking the barrier down even more Mike. I love the Lord, as I invited him into my life a couple of weeks ago. I was told that He would love me, unconditionally. I hope that my family will be the same way.
For anyone, including you Mike, would want to keep in touch on trying to make things easier for each other, hit me up at disturbed1huerta@q.com. I would greatly appreciate it. Take care guys. God Bless.
If you are reading this I hope that you understand the significance this sight and your self have had on my outlook and understanding of myself and the process I will eventually to go through. There is no possible way for me to describe the impact you have had on my life and I’m sure countless others who may be going through similar things. You have given me a role model who I can look up to, and aspire to be like. Thank you very much Mike.
Hey Mike,
Awesome letter and great advice. I’m glad that everything has worked out in your favor and that you are making the best of it. I continue to wish you the best of luck in all of your success.
I wish I could come out to my friends and family like you have, now just isn’t the right time for that unfortunately. You have inspired me greatly, and I hope one day to come out and be completely free as you are.
Best of luck Mike
~
Thank you for sharing.
=]
First let me start off by saying thank you! You have inspired me to that at some point to tell my mom I’m Bi. I watched the show and had to find out more. I don’t think I’m ready to come out quite yet, because I believe there is a time for everything and right now is not that time but I see it happening in the near future. Thanks to you I actually feel more comfortable with my sexuality. Even being Bi myself I stereotyped other bi or gay people, you showed me that not everyone is that stereotype. Unfortunately I recognize your fame right now and all your fans, even tho you might read this and not be able to reply, I am still grateful. You can believe your a big inspiration to all of us about being true to yourself.
You saved my life.
hi mike i am 17 and i want to ask you what i should do to tell my family that i am bi when i know after i do tell them they will disown me
email me t_quaschnick@rocketmail.com
Dear Mike,
I would first like to start off by saying that you are the biggest inspiration in my life then anyone I have ever encountered. When I began watching The Real World, I instantly was intrigued by the young 22 yr old wearing the green American Eagle shirt (Which I own, in Blue) that took the first steps into what would turn out to be the biggest journey of his life. I kept watching and keeping an extra special eye on you. I was thinking in my head, who is my favorite cast member and why? and then I hear, “My number, is probably 15 girls and five guys…” The bomb has now gone off. Ashley’s in shock, Erika does the odd scratch in the head move, even Andrew is thinking in his head, “Wow didn’t see that one coming.” But right at that moment I knew that Mike Manning was going to make a difference in my life. Sure, The Real World, drama, tension, blood warming disputes and the occasional laugh… But you changed all that. You made the show mean something so much more to me. I tuned in every Wednesday at 10:00pm to walk side by side with you along your quest and it awakened something inside me. Courage, self-acceptance, pride, happiness, and well the occasional arousal [Laughs] You were the perfect model of everything I aspire to be. Confident and committed and ambitious, and more importantly, openly bisexual and proud of it. I have made a promise to myself to one day meet you and shake your hand, and hopefully grow a friendship. Why? Because you were on TV? Your a reality TV star? No and no. Because your an inspiration and you saved me from the cages society trapped me in for so many hard years. I’m only 17 but as soon as it becomes possible, I’m making a trip to Colorado or wherever you will be at the time, and I will shake your hand, and my journey will be over.
How is it’s going what tanner
they broke up
:O :’(
Hey Mike, Listen I know your busy and I’m just another reply person telling you how great you are but, these people actually mean it. Honestly, if you weren’t on the show I would not have watched it. You are great. I love how open you are about your sexuality, and watching the real world I cried in almost every episode. I admire you so much and hope to one day be as confident in myself as you are. God Bless, your an amazing inspirational person.
Mike, you are such a huge inspiration to everyone. Your story has shown that is it possible to lead an honest life, even with the religious background, which many people have struggled with. You have made a great impact on my life, just form being on the Real World, I know that it sounds rather ridiculous. I just wanted to say thank you for everything you have done and are doing and that, one day, I hope to be at least half the man you are.
Mike,your mere existence miles away from my own gives me hope.
Knowing that people who are strong and remarkable like you exist, gives me hope on my darkest of days.
I also “wrote the letter” to my brother. That started the process and now the whole family knows. You were the inspiration, and I thank you for the honesty and sharing of your journey.
Mike, you are the definition of what a role model truly should be. I have not looked up to anyone like i look up to you and i am forever grateful to have that. After seeing your speech you really helped me accept myself more, enough to come out to one of my good friends just days after watching you. If that isn’t true inspiration, i don’t know what is. Keep on doing what your doing, cause its working!
Hey Mike,
I came out to my mom trough a text message, but before you say anything I typed the message on my own phone and I handed it to my mom and had her read it while I was there. Then i asked her if she had any questions ans she said no and left my room. It was wierd for a day or so then she started with the questions. To me I feel the most imortant question was “do you think your bi beacause thats what everyone else says or because thats how you feel?” my response was “mom, everyone thinks i’m completly gay, so no I don’t think thats why.” But now me and my mom don’t really talk about it. I just think it’s going to be a little awkward the first time i bring a guy home to meet her.
Like everyone else here i wanted to just say thanks you are apart of something thats gonna be a nation changing thing, the way you presented yourself and your orientation has made it more acceptable from our close minded brothers and sisters. because of you i was able to tell people what i had been hiding all along that i was “Bi” and everyone i tell i let them know if i could describe myself in another person it would be “mike manning” i like it both lol. and you killed the topic about sterotypes everyone i tell they dont believe me cause i act nothing like the sterotypes that follow with what we chose todo. so mike thanks brauh.
dear mike
when i saw your coming out episode on the real world i was so happy & proud of you your an inspiration to me and to all LGBT people everywhere i love your personality your courage your smile i love everything about you may god bless you always and forever and i hope u find somebody in the future who truly really loves you for who you are you deserve it
thank you for being a friend thank you for coming out thank you for everything your doing for LGBT people and thank you for being you I LOVE YOU GOD BLESS YOUR FAN AND ADMIRER J.V.
i had no idea you were back with tanner i thought u were single again im sorry i hope he loves and respects you
wish all the happiness in the world love u xoxo.
email me sexxxi at UnknowEmoBoy@aol.com
Mom and I are reading these right now. We just wanted to say we love you SOOOOOOOOO MUCH! and we are very proud of you and everything you’ve done. I love you mikey
-Loo
You are my role model Mike! Keep doing your thing, buddy!
I am only 16 but i know what you went through because i live a triple between home, school, and my sexual orientation that I keep secret from my friends and family because I know that they would disown me beside could never tell them because my dad said if one of his kids is gay or bisexual he would kill them.
Your story is very inspirational!
Hey Mike. You may not read this but nevertheless I am a 14 year old high school freshman. However, being a year younger than everyone in my grade, sometimes 2 years, i have adapted to the maturity of my fellow class mates. I decided to watch the real world dc when I was watching AMTV in the morning getting ready for school and I saw a preview for the episode where you were fighting with Eric. I’m bi and I usually only watch shows with bi or gayness for the sexual aspect but in watching this season it really touched my heart. I’ve been in love with this guy for about a year now and seeing you with Tanner let me know all of the things I wanted out of this guy. His sexuality is kind of a question mark, i’ve known him for since 8th grade, and last month was the first time i heard him mention a girl. Then I saw some straight porn apps on his phone. I don’t know how he’ll take it if i tell i like him and im bi. I understand the difficulty you’ve had to go through in your life. If I tell this guy it could potentially ruin the next 3 years of my life. As for my single mom. Well shes one of the most homophobic people I have ever met in my natural born life. Shes said to me in joking way “don’t come out until im dead”, however shes only joking about me actually being gay and coming out. She doesn’t wanna know. But I feel like it was really great what you did. I kinda wanna give this guy a letter but I don’t really want him to have hard copy evidence he can use against me. And I keep on thinking I didn’t fall in love with someone who could intentionally ruin someones high school experience like that. Who Knows? You’ve got a lot of courage kid tellin your friends and everything. Your awesome. And A Role Model.
Hey Mike !
I am from Germany and now I try to say something in english.
You’re familie is so awesome..!!
If I saw you today in the TV at the first Time, I was so happy, that in our world are people like you, who can say, what they think and feel. It’s unique. After the show, I had to google you and find your website. If I read the text on this site, I started to cry.. because you’re a very strong person !!
I am 16..
My familie would kill me, if I tell them, that I am …
So I can never be the person, who I am …
Best wishes.
hey from germany i am like you im 16 and very scared to tell my parents but my dad already knows and its kind of ockward around him now but if you want your relationship to work out with your parents you have to talked but no preassure i am not wanting to force you
dear mike when i saw you on t.v. i was like holy shit hes fuckin fine but then ass i continue watchin you really began to inspire me instead i knew right there and then that i wanted to be like you and to tell everyone about you and to say and proud that im bisexual i am also christian so i love god very much he is our creator by the way i need help with some stuff email me please at luis_vaogas@yahoo.com
Mike, I know you are extremely busy and possibly do not even have time to read all of these. However, I felt like sharing a little about how you have helped me out. I am twenty years old, born and raised in the bible belt and now going to college. I gave my life to Christ at age 12 and was always very involved with youth groups and FCA and such. As I have moved to college however I have found it harder and harder to deal with my secret that is constantly tearing at my heart. I have finally admitted to myself that I am either gay or bi after years and years of denying it to myself and believing that God was going to change it. I have now came to the realization that this may not happen. Not that he is not capable, but maybe that it isn’t in his plan for me? Anyways I kinda got back into watching The Real World this season. I know it was for me to see another christian going through the struggles I am facing and will continue to for a long time. I can honestly say that this has been one of the most emotional years for me in a long time. Through watching you on RWDC and getting to the point that I can’t keep it bottled up inside anymore I have came out to about 5 or so of my closest friends. It has helped me significantly just being able to talk to them. I am still struggling with the thought of coming out to my family as I know things will never be the same. I know parents can sense when something is wrong and I know they’re worried about me but I dunno if they know whats coming. I have came to a place where I am OK with the fact that I may lose some friends when the time comes and that things will be shaky and uncertain with my family. However, the part I still struggle with the most is the religious aspect. I personally do not believe God would create people to be unhappy and condemn them for who they are. But there are many people and sources telling me this is so. I’m really hoping in time I will be able to come to peace with it spiritually as I have personally. What I really just wanted to say in this message was thanks. Watching you and seeing what you are doing has given me some hope and courage to try and figure things out and finally address the fact that I am the way I am. Without the motivation you gave me, I would possibly still be hiding everything while I slowly self destruct. The path I was on emotionally last fall was one of the worst of my life. I have learned that God does have a plan for me one way or another and I guess I just have to hold on for the ride. Anyways, now that I have blown up your comment wall I will just finish with saying that God put you on that show for a reason. I wish you the best of luck as you continue your activism/work and may God bless what you are doing. Your message and motivation is saving lives. I know it.
comming out is not easy, i have come out to my dad. he did not accept it yet.
i know what its like to be on the streets because your father dont accept you for who you are. i know what its like to starve, to wonder how your going to get your next meal. i know whats its like to drnk because you want yo forget all of the past.
mike, u help me so much to be a string person, to be true to my self.
hi, i am russell, i am only 15 years old. so much has happend so far. so many awesome, but yet harmfull stuff has happend since i came out….
i live with my mom now, in the bush, my mom is awesome, she helps me with everything, she is trying to take full costoty of me. i take the bus everyday to school and back, its an hour drive, my mom has no hydro, we have a generater, no running water.
i am so happy and blissed to be with my mom. she has got me off the streets. all the love that i get, all the caringness, all the positive thoughts i hear from my mom. my mom never put me down. she allways encourges me to continue with my dreams.
just becase i came out to my dad…. my dad said that i will never get a job, i will not make it to college, that i am on the road to distruction….
let the great spirit bless you mike!
let the great spirit bless my mother for being true, and for loving me for who i am no matter what i am.
love ya mike.
truely russell.
to drink because you want to forget all of the past. i mean…..
mike, u help me so much to be a strong person, to be true to myself. i mean….
Mike, I realize you published this over two months ago, but im just getting to read it. I also just started watching The Real World last week online. I had no reason nor did I ever have an intention to, but for some reason last week I decided I would. I had no clue about you. But I do now, and im so glad to. Your a true insperation for me. I have still not told my parents about my sexuality. Simply because I am afraid to. I am a bi-sexual as well. And I want to scream it to the world. But I don’t know how. I know your continuously recieving comments from people that just want to talk to you because they think your cute. However I would like to talk to you about how to come out, and how it makes you feel, and just everything about it. I’m hoping you could help me through this process. You are so far my first and only inspiration in life, and I hope to talk to you soon. Thanks for being yourself. (im also one of your followers on Twitter, fyi)
i feel like tanner i am scared telling my parents is like tell them that i want to die and i am only 15 and it drive me crazy till the point that i want to hurt myself so i decided to tell them when i turn 17 and move to washington d.c
Mike.
I am 16 and from New Zealand. I want to thank you so much for the work you are doing for the less accepted in society. Im sure that you realise that the effect of HRC and what you are involved in is global, with letters from Germany and everywhere. Thankyou so much. Stereotypes are just a shallow excuse for denying something which those do not believe is normal, and with people like you in our society we learn to accept the unaccepted; and i hope to stand up for my rights when i feel that the time is right to come out. You confirmed that we are all normal, and that conformity is boring. Thankyou again for what you do. I hope to follow in your footsteps. Also i now know how i can come out (in a letter) which i agree will explain everything more fully and help my family understand me and so i can stop living a double life and be the person god created me to be.
Thankyou again. You are a godsend
Mike that letter was so inspirational! It made me feel like I can tell my parents too. But its like when I try they always cut me off or something. I told them one time and my mom said that cant be true I had a boy not a girl. My dad said he wasnt going to accept it no matter how hard I tried to get him too. I love god honestly I do, but me just living my life is all I wanna do. Im kinda in a huge bundle between just doing me and doing what my parents what me to do and thats be straight. But I cant because I like guys and I can also be attracted to some girls, but the marjority is guys. Im only 15 years old and I cant do anything. Whatever I wanna do my parents wont let me because Im gay. Thats not right in my eyes. I should have the freedom to stand up and speak out that I’m just a person, but I’m a different person than you are. I really wanna get into modeling, but my parents still won’t let me because of my sexuality. Stuff today is too hard for me to handle at a young age. My parents are just so blinded by ignorance and care what people would think about me because I’m there son. There smart straight A athletic son. They have alot to learn about what Im going through right now. Its so hard just for me to do me and them judge. But you are a LEGEND, a true LEGEND! You help me see that there is no wrong to be gay or bi. There is nothig wrong with it. Your my IDOL! My HERO! And even though I dont know you your like a distance brother I can talk to about this stuff. So thank you so much for making me understand all this stuff! Ive now learned not to be afraid of what others think and just how to be myself. Thanks Mike! email me some time ogtee22@yahoo.com
-Hey Mike!
I’m so happy for you for taking that step, as we all know its very hard “coming out” to the ones you truely love. knowing they might either walk with you or away from you. but its life. and unfortunately theres millions of ppl. out there whom are still close minded. well to all this, idk them lol. but i spiritualy congratulate your parents! for such an amazing job. of taking things well and slowly. they raised such an amazing man (YOU!)
-well closing this, i support you through it all, keep doing the great job that you do. and hey if anything, IM HERE FOR YOU! =)
take well care of yourself and loved ones. God bless you! and SMILE! =)
Carlos Lopez
Mike, you are an inspiration. Reading your emotional letter brought me one step closer to coming out to my family, and the rest of my friends.
Thank you!
<3 TJ S.
I am 15, and for a while now I have classified myself as bisexual so that coming out to friends would leave me with a sense of normality. I live in an extremely religious area of Mississippi. This kind of thing is far from common around here. Over the course of the past few months, I found an AMAZING guy! He is all I’ve wanted and more. By getting to know him and going through self-discovery, I relised I’m in fact gay. That is extremely painful for me to say. I WANT to be normal and be straight and heterosexual! But I can’t that’s not who I am. I am an AVID Christian. My family lives through God. I just feel that it is unacceptable to Him to be this way (Leviticus 17). I need help in understanding that God loves gay/bi people as well. I feel so alone. Please help.
Peace and Love!
-John
Hey Mike! I have no clue if you’ll ever read this-I hope you do-but I have to begin by saying ‘thank you’. You have no idea how much your actions and words have influenced me in dealing with my own coming out. I am 18 and a Christian, and recently came out as bi to my parents. I struggled throughout high school with my sexuality. With so many negative influences-my peers and even my church-I hated myself bearing even a thought that I was gay. I became isolated, missing out on nearly everything high school has to offer, trying everything to make myself happy and forget-”shove it to the side”, so to speak. I can remember crying myself to sleep, begging God to turn me straight, asking Him to take away my gay thoughts, and make me ‘normal’. This never happened.
.
. I don’t know if political activism is for me, but RWDC allowed me to get an inside look, and I have to say it is something I may consider down that road. We can’t change the world, by standing with hands in our pockets, we have to get our hands dirty. And you are such a role model. I hope GIANT strides can be made to end hate, such as repealing DADT, and removing barriers that obstruct LGBT rights.
As I grew older, I slowly began to accept my feelings, becoming much more open to the fact that I was bi-and that there was nothing wrong with this realization. The self-hate that I had kept locked inside slowly disappeared. *For anybody reading this, ALWAYS remember that NOBODY can tear you down quicker than the person inside.*
I have to admit, I began watching, and then became hooked, on RWDC because of an attractive dude named Mike lol. However, your internship in HRC opened up a world that I never knew existed.
The Episode where you are reunited with Tanner, and subsequently, the hardships of Tanner and his family, you said something that stunned me. No joke-I cried. What you said brought down the final wall that kept me-from being me.
“You need to except that there is no shame in being who you are, and the only shame is thinking that the gift that God gave you and the person that you were created to be is not good enough to show to the rest of the world. That’s where shame comes.” -Mike
That statement melted away all resentment that I had towards myself. That shame had made me miserable for so many years-and I am glad to say that it is gone
Thank you Mike so much. As an entering college freshmen, you have inspired me to possibly become a leader for equal rights at my university to end hate
Remember, that you can do all things through Christ who strenghens you (Phil. 4:13) and continue to fight for what means most. I wish you luck in ALL your future endevours. I keep up consistently with Twitter lol.
Thanks Mike
Peace
>Austin
Hey Mike,
I know you’ve heard this millions of times, but you inspire me so much! I havent came out too my parents yet, and the thought of telling my parents makes me feel sick to my stomach. Your story is exactly like mine, Ive always had this image in my head of what my future will be like, (A wife, kids, etc…) but at the same time I am attracted to guys.
Anyway if you have time theres a few other questions id like to ask if you can email me. Thanks
Mike, If it werent for me watching the Real World and seeing you i dont think i would be where i am today. You were my inspiration to take a stand on gay rights and introduced me to HRC. Reading your letter gave me the confidence i needed to tell my family and closest friends about me being gay. When i told my family, it was the hardest thing i have ever done in my life and my parents took it really well, i wish that others would have the similar experience that i did. I am so much closer to my family than ever before and they still love me the same. Though not all my friends know, the ones ive told were very understanding and it shows me who my true friends are. Once they were able to see that im still me and havent really changed, we became a lot more open about my sexual orientation. Its a great feeling to know that i dont have to act a different way and just be myself.I am 21 years old and Christian. You were also the person that i was able to relate with being religious and gay/bi, i am still struggling with that. I just want to thank you, you have helped me more that u will probably ever know. I hope that someday i will be able to help others like you helped me. I would love to talk to you for some advice, it would mean a lot to me. Thanks Mike
dear mike,
i am amazed at what you did. i am a teen and i saw your show on dc and just always wanted to come out to my family and friends cause i live a double life and the strain and stress is over bearing. I’ve lived a double life for so long that i don’t remember happiness and whats it like to be me. i always had to hid and it hurts. I’ve thought of doing so many crazy tings that i never imagined i would. i am out to very few of my friends and it took for ever to build that trust. as i grow older it gets worse. the hiding the problems trusting and anger. i don’t know what to do or who to talk to but you were my inspiration on that show so when i found this website i had to say thanks and if there was anyway that you could offer any advice or what you did growing up it would be a great help.
Can I say I cant agree with you more. man its hard to show one side to your family and one side to your friends. I still can not come to terms with outing just cause I know it will hurt so many ppl I know and it does get way worse as you grow older. just know ppl are there for you and ppl will help you and value you for you and not label or judge you.
Hey Mike,
I’m struggeling with myself about my sexuality.
I dont know if it is just a stage because i’m just 15 years old. I feel attracted to girls and guys and I start accepting that it is the way it is and that i can’t change my feelings. You’re an awsom person and You’re kinda like a hero to me. you’ve really inspired me and I think of telling my sister(in an e-mail) how I feel cuz i’m really close with her and i can tell her everything. I wont tell my perants yet cuzz i wanna see where futur brings me. From what i’ve seen in The Real World, I can tell that you have a awsom pesonality and if I end up whit a guy I hope he’ll be as nice and pretty as you are!!
You’re a inspiration to a lot of people and i really think thats great. Pleas send me an e-mil when you read this(if you have time) cuzz i stil have a view question.
yo dude I hear ya. Im in the same boat and about to be 16 and a day doesnt go bye when I dont think about the difference in my life if I tell and who to tell. and you are spot on with Mike bein a hero. After the episode when Tanner came to town, episode 13, I went to HRC website and bought a lot of stuff because Mike touched a nerve in me that made me feel more comfortable in who I am and what I am and I look up to that dude sooo much.
hey Mike
I wrote the prvious message.
my e-mail adress got blocked so if you (pleassss) mail me, mail me at youknowme95@hotmail.nl
hotmail.nl not .com
Mike I just want to say that you are one of the strongest and coolest people Ive ever “meet.”I read almost all the stories on you and read your website and watched The Real World countless times just to find the meaning I can most closely relate to and boy did I find it. You make life sound so easy and chill and I find that to be a really sweet quality you have. you can take a challenge head on and just attack it and sure you have fear but you made it. Just look at how far you have come!! I hope my life goes half as nice as yours and that I get the opportunity to help out HRC someday. I read your comming out section so many times and every time I just felt as though I gained more and more of a sense of who you were and it was awesome. I thought you handle it very fly and maturely!! dude you are one awesome,sweet, amazing guy and I want you to know soooo manny ppl and myself included look up to you and aspire to be like you because you are the face of LGBT for the younger generation!!! you are the reason so many teens and adults feel comfortable being who they are and I feel I should commend you on that! plzz keep up the fantastic work and I hope you accomplish all of your dreams because I know you can do it.
lov brad. peace
Mike,
Hey mike im chris im 17 years old and ive gone through 6 years with me knowing that i am for sure bi. I have always wanted to confess to my perants and friends but the only one who really knows is that special person. I need some good advice on what to do next. I have that feeling that my family will go crazy on my and specially my friends!! I need some help and advice on what to do can u help?? if u can plz right back to me! I know i can count on u spacially because im going through the same thing that you went through!
P.S
Please email me back i could use all the help i can get
puganator13@gmail.com
Hey i know this has nothing to do with this post… but i was just curious which one of ur roomates from real world dc that ur still good friends with… lol. This is the only place that i’ve seen that i can leave a comment… so i was just wonderin thank u. I hope u and Ashley r still bf’s because i think u 2 relied on each other in a way.
Hey Mike. My name is Zach and I’m 13. I have recently accepted the fact that I’m bisexual. At first I was scared and confuesed, and thought that if I told anyone they would hold it against me. So at that point I told no one, but then Real World aired and I was hooked (mainly because of you). Anyways, watching the show I felt I grew with you, I’m obviously wouldn’t be working for HRC (hopefully in the future) but I did grow personally. Right now I’ve told my closest friends and pretty much accepted my life. Hopefully in the near future I’ll gain the courage to tell my folks. I would have never have gotten this far without you. Thanks you so much, looking forward for you to do big things in the future. Zach
hey Mike, i really liked ur letter, thanks for sharing it. i would like to say that i am in the same situation as u were. u were strong at the moment to deliver the letter to ur parents . u have taught me several things in this letter and now, i think i am gonna put them in practice. thanks for helping me in a indirect way. i would like to endm saying that i wish the best of this world for u … u are an amazing person even though i don’t know u at all personally. i can have an idea of ur personality and the human being of u are…. thanks and greetings from Venezuela ..sorry for my english, in case u don’t understand ….. LOL
you are an amazing person, i love that you care so much for your parents that you could write a 5 page letter for them. i imagine that you wrote it because, trying to SAY everything you wanted just wouldnt work out. i know I would just mumble and scramble for words.
i was upset when RWDC came to an end. i sat still the entire hour of the episode, i didnt move or reposition, just sat there.
youve inspired many lives, and for that i am grateful
Wow..That was truly inspirational Mike. Your an amazing person and I can honestly say your a true role model for me.
Hi mike,
Im 15 and when I saw you on the real world, I thought of how nice you were and how brave you were to come onto television and be “real” as soon as you entered the show, unlike some of the other people that took the whole season to show their true colors. Any ways, i read this letter and it made me smile, lol ik thats corny, but im in the same situation that you were in and i would like some more advise from you if you can aha. please and thankyou,
Justin
(and if it doesnt come up with my email please reply and i will give it to you, because i dont want random people trying to email me haha. t
Reading all of these makes me cry, why cant people accept who i am, gay. im only 13 and discovering i like men and love to sing and act. you r the best! I love god and jesus in fact, i am catholic but i have problems with peopl
e not acceping me. i always run into the problem where i find a nice cute guy but hes not gay! i despritly need advice and help from someone whos been thru it,
PLEASE email me at Forcefield_8@msn.com
hey mike! i became a big fan of u while watchin u on the real world. its so awesome that you can out on cable television. u were so brave. see im bi too and it was hard to come out to my family! i wanted to tell my mom but she passed before i got the chance. your a big inspiration to me. my role model! if u werent afraid to come out on tv then i shouldnt be afraid either!your a REAL guy who aint afraid to be urself! i admire that! i would so like to meet you lol! thanks for helpin me come out! u didnt know but u inspire me bro! thanks
Watching your journey on TV helped change my life Mike. THANK YOU SO MUCH
yo man im so stoked that your family/friends are chill with who you are. i feel like im in the same boat because i guess i dont follow the stereotypical “gay guy signs” or whatever but its tough coming out to people. i came out to my two bestfriends and my two roommates and they were totally caught off gaurd but they’re cool 100% with it. But my parents on the other hand will freak if i told them i was bi, dads very religious and mom was raised in a very narrow minded house, doesnt help me much. it blows because i feel like i cant tell alot of people at my college because some people from home go here and it could get back to my family. scares the hell out of me. i dont know what do do. i know you probably get this alot but if you could talk or shoot me an email or something, hit me up. id really appreciate it dude. thanks
Dear Mike,
I know its been a while since your season of the Real World has come on, but i would like to thank you! When the season first aired i was watching it with my parents and you came on. Suddenly, i jumped up and ran away refusing to watch the episode. It wasn’t because you were bi its just that the moment i saw you i thought “Dang! this dude is hot!” and it scared me. i was never attracted to guys until i saw you. at first i thought it was just a random thought but since then ive been really looking at guys. I still like girls though. i would just like to thank you! i’m 14 and its really awesome to have such a cool role model to look up to! i kno you probably hav alot of ppl say this but maybe you could email sumtime. i think itd be great to get sum advice from one of the coolest people ever!!!
dear mike, u are my inspiration. but i really need your help with coming out to my folks so please email me at kennymumford@gmail.com or followe me on twitter @kennymumford. please. thxs.
Mike, i understand and realize that you are busy. and like many others, i would really appreciate an email sometime. jeffrey.semenek@yahoo.com
After reading this I believed it was incredibly enlightening. I actually appreciate you finding the time and energy to put this article along. Once more I find myself wasting far too enough time both reading and placing comments. Although so what, it absolutely was nevertheless of great benefit!
This letter is very inspirational to me. I am in the closet right now and things like this really touch my heart.
carlinriley50@yahoo.com
Mike you are a role model to me and I hope that I might one day meet you in person.
Mike,
Thanks a lot for publishing this, I know that someday I too have to come out to my friends and family. I have seen the whole season of Real World: DC and you really were an inspiration to me. The real reason that I watch the real world season after season (knowing that MTV puts a gay/bi guy in almost every show) is in the hope that I find something or someone i can relate to. Every season that i saw there was someone that was already a stage ahead of me and was more comfortable with their sexuality. You on the other hand have helped me accept myself more.
I think the way you look at things and the way you treat things is very similiar to the way that I would act. However I can never fully be myself to people. I am 18 years old, gay and still in the closet. I act like I’m straight, I like girls, I play sports, and do everything that makes people think that i’m heterosexual. Yesterday I even made out with a girl to prove it, to be honest I was really disgusted after doing it.
Before watching the show there was never anyone that I could look up to, or someone that was my ‘gay’ role model and that helped me accept myself. There were times that i hated myself for being gay, and sometimes I still do. I was so happy and relieved when I saw you on the show, you were so unlike the stereotypical gay guys that are always on television and movie and to which I can in no way relate to, with you I could. Therefore I’d like to thank you for participating in the show, and give me someone that really is a role model to me and that will help me going through the process of accepting myself.
Keep up the good work bud!
Regards,
Cem
Hey Mike! I just want to say that you are an inspiration to me. I have been struggling with my sexuality for about a year and I have come to realize that I am a bisexual. My parents have found out and they are rejecting who I am. I am a Christian and I believe that God will love me no matter what choices I make. I am so glad to know that there are other people like me who are making a difference in the world.
Hey Mike. You are truly a mentor to me, even though I dont know u or u know me, you truly are a inspiration to me and everyone else.I am a 19 yrs old male who is still struggling who I am. I am always denialing saying I’m straight but I know in the inside of me, that Im Bisexual or gay.Even thought I have feeling for both sexes. Wathcing you on the the Real World DC, I am admire you ALOT.Seeing you coming out on National Television and not being afraid of who you are truly really inspire me to brave and not being afraid what everyone or people have to say. And I tired of living a double life and lying to my parents and loves ones.Sometimes I feel I wanna leave my hometown and be somewhere really far and that one person that make me so happy and proud of who I am. Even thought Im a christian I know from the bottom of my heart that god still loves me and to everyone whos GAY. Once again thanks MIke for being outhere and helping people whos struggling about their sex Orientation
Thanks
Love, Mario
Hey Mike!
I hope you read this soon! I know that you are plenty busy, but I just wanted to inform you of the profound impact you have made in my life. When you first appeared on the Real World, I knew that I could relate to you more than any other person in my life. I love how deeply passionate you are about Gay rights and religion. I am a God- Fearing individual and I enjoy a relationship with God that cannot be denied. However, I have been told my whole life that I cannot be gay and still be religious. My parents are ultra conservative and the town I live in currently shuns just about anyone who is slightly different (very Christian huh….)
I am also still a guys guy. no one can tell I am gay. I love sports, lifting weights, just about anything masculine, but there is something very different inside of me that is haunting me. You have encouraged me to be myself after all these years of hiding who I truly am. Your a beautiful person inside and out and I want to tell you that you have changed my life forever. You give me courage and hope for the future. I cannot wait till I can live my life the way God intended me to live it. I pray for my parents everyday and I pray for you because what you are doing in amazing. God loves you very much. I love you for everything you have done for my personal growth..
From the bottom of my heart, thank you!
hey tanner!
i just wanna take some time to thank you:) your words are inspiring. coming out is really hard, but the whole family right now still not accepting. but as i read your blog it makes me hopeful that one day they might accept it.
Hey mike
If you have time I would love you to email me. I know you are so busy so I understand if you dont have time. I am just so scared and need help talking about my sexuality. You are such an inspiration to me! With out you I don’t think I would be even considering coming out at all!
Thanks, Tyler
“-` I am very thankful to this topic because it really gives great information *.-
And so I shall begin writing a letter of my own…
Great article, i remember seeing somewhere else to do with this. Made me want to do another search in google for more information and stumbled upon this blog peice. Great article
hey, i see where everyone’s coming from because im gay and i no how it feels to think people hate you because of man man’s atracttion to other men. I told some of me friends, my closest friends and they didnt seem to care. I didn’t come out yet but im planning to, and i don’t know how to start nor do i know when’s the right time to tell my mom. she seems as if she wouldn’t care, but at the same time i get this feeling that she would kick me out the house.I’m usally smart when it come to things like this, but now i need help. I’m in a dark whole and its geting smaller. Can someone please hlep out.
I am acutely sure they command study a destiny of additional substance here than anybody else!
Thank you so much for sharing!
wonderful sharing, very interesting. I like it in deed. I come acoss the website by yahoo search engine. I might visit your site daily and forward it to my gangs. Please keep it fresh. Keep on the good work. – A sweet girl
Hey Mike!
You are such an insparation to me! I’m going through a struggle with my sexuality and I would love if you were to e-mail me to help me out. But if not, that’s completely understandable since you are probably busy(: Well thank you so much!
Hi Mike. I just want to tell you that you have the biggest heart and you have lots of courage.I never would have been able to do what you did,and I still can’t.I’m gay,and I’ve kept it to myself for almost 8 years now.I haven’t been able to tell the most important people in my life,and I feel I’m hurting them,as well as myself.Sometimes I feel it would just be easier if I kept to myself,which I’ve been considering because I don’t want to ruin the great relationship I have with my parents.I don’t have anyone close enough to me that I can confide in because I’ve been sitting on this for so long,It gets harder and harder for me to even think about telling someeone.I’ve had this talk with my mom once,and she told me that she would prefer it if I wasn’t gay.From then on,I told myself that if I didn’t want to get hurt,I’d have to protect myself by keeping my mouth shut.I haven’t talked to her about it since.Mike,I’m so confused about what to do,and what’s best.I know they’re my family,and I should be able to tell them anything,but I’m scared of how they might react.I know what’s best,I’m just terrified to go for it.
Quality post! Ive bookmark this site to return later. cheers!
Hi Mike,
You are a true inspiration to the LGBT community, and i just want to encourage you to keep being the voice of the many who are lost and terrified to reveal their true selves. I just want a followup on you and Tanner’s relationship. Are you guys still together? And how is his relationship now with his parents since he came out to them?
Hi mike, As a young person u have truly influence me to a whole other level. I face some of the same issues that u face when trying to analyze my emotions and physical feeling towards people of the opposite sex. i must say that i am nervous to tell my mother…. i wanted to kno could email me personally with some more advice on this issue and also how to get involve with the Human Rights Campaign… U r truly a inspiration to me and I dont have many of those
Thank you
Victor
email…vichayes10@gmail.com
Hey Mike I dont know how to tell anyone but my lover I love him…..
Hi, Mike. Can i just say what you are doing is incredible. You are such an inspiration to me. You influenced me in a way others never did. As a teen, i see you as my role model especially since i am bisexual like you. You and how you became what you are today has given me the strength to actually come out to my family and I am grateful that you have helped me see the truth.
Wish you the best in everything
Hey,
I’m 15 years old and I look up to you. I’m struggling with my sexuality and even though you don’t know it, you have been there for me every step of the way. I know i’m Bi, and I already came out to my family and friends about it. Now I get ridiculed all the time, my sister calls me things like “Gay” “fag” “Queer” Just trying to get me mad. It does, being called these names just because I wanted them to know who I am. School isn’t any better, it’s hard for me to make friends that are guys because people automatically begin to think i’m in “Love” with my friend and it sometimes drives them away from me. Last year, it got too much for me to handle. I was super confused on who I was and getting through a bad breakup with my first boyfriend. I began cutting myself, I never cut deep enough to scar… But now when I look down at my arm I know that I was weak, but now, thanks to you, i’m better. You’re a HUGE inspiration on my life. Lately, i’ve been telling my friends I wasn’t into guys because I didn’t want them to make jokes. It’s hard when I know I will always like guys and will always like girls too. People think i’m lying when I say I like a girl, they think just because I’ve dated like 2 guys i’m fully gay, the jokes don’t stop. I know it’s all in good fun, but it hurts. My “friends” constantly saying “Oh you like dick in your mouth” or stuff like that. It hurts, because I don’t like being put down because of who I am. I know you probably have read this 29086734 times, but I thought I should let you know because you are such a huge influence on my life. I’m going to see you speak soon, you’re going to Canisius College in Buffalo, NY and I’m trying to get tickets to go, it would mean a lot to me to see you speak. Thanks for your time.
-Caleb
Mike,
I just wanted to say , nice letter and you are a man with a lot of courage. You motivatied me sooo much. I did’nt have the guts to tell my parents till after i read you’r letter. i wanna ask you for a huge favor please. i know you are busy but it would be nice if you could email me? please&thankyouu(: Hope to hear from you.
Hey mike I’m sixteen and just came out and not sure what to do. My family has drifted away and communications is lessening. The only people I have now are a few friends who were accepting of who I am. All the others have stopped talking to me. If you get a chance to read this I would like if you could email me weigh some advice.
Aerotrain: same kind of train in france circa 1960
Great post! This is not only a prime example of juxtaposition but also a bit of nostalgia and creativity where you would least expect it in the heart of the Financial District.
Hi Mike,
I am now crying because I wish I could do that. I’m gonna be honest now and say that I am 19 and I AM BI also! But I’m so sad that this is as far as those words can go! Honestly I’M SO SICK of it! My mom caught me watching gay porn when I was 15 and told me that if she ever found out that I was doing that again, she would disown me!! I don’t know what I would do without my mom! My dad never said anything about it but I think he has some kind of clue, because I watch the real world all the time and I always say that one day I’m gonna be on that show and he goes…”So is that where your gonna come out” which I don’t understand how he could thing I’m Bi because I’m extremely manly, but anywho. Then he says he’s just joken! It eats me up inside. My parents are some of the most amazing, most talented people anyone could ever meet, but they just don’t do Gay…at all!!! That’s why when I’m done with college I’m going away really far to see where this life takes me! I understand that God considers this an abomination but I don’t know how to turn it off! I LOVE GIRLS but I also LOVE GUYS. I appreciate you for doing what you did and I can honestly say that I wish my parents were mine but they aren’t so NO LETTER IS GOING OUT FOR ANYONE TO SEE FROM ME!!
You are the best example of a honest person and I LOVE YOU FOR IT!!!
Thanks you for bringing me to tears and letting me know that there used to be someone like me and that there are people like me!
In Sincerety,
Herman
P.S. You are Extremely Handsome!
Hey Mike,
I am 15 and like you i grew up in christian family. The past 4 years of my life have been the hardest. During this time my mom has passed away from liver cancer, and I have been struggling with my sexuality. Through elementary school i was made fun of for being gay, though i never tried to act gay. In fifth grade i started to believe my peers so to make sure i was gay I kissed another boy in a bathroom stall. The kiss my horrible but that didn’t stop me. Since then i’ve given blowjobs to a couple of my cousins (which i’m extremely ashamed of) but i’ve always knew i couldn’t be gay or bi because of my faith. During middle school i went to a catholic school (even though i’m baptist). At my time there I had an attraction to several boys and girls in my class. Also during middle school i got addicted to gay porn(which i still am). Now i’m in 10th grade and i still have feelings for so guys in my school. I haven’t came out to my family or friends yet because of many reasons. First my Dad extremely hates gays. In addition I am very involved at my church and i’m afraid of their reaction. Also i never want to be bullied at school for being gay because i already am bullied since some guys think i’m gay. Even though my friends, which are mostly female, don’t know i’m gay my female friends joke about me being gay and tell me i’m like a gay friend to them. So it would be an understatement to say i’m confused about my sexuality, i think i’m bi, but i tell myself everyday that i can overcome these feelings. Anyhow, you have inspired me so freak’n much so i thought i would come out on this.
your fan,
Jason